Dan Gutstein

THE KEY IN MY POCKET EXISTED ME

The bus fare (two quarters)
existed me, all the side streets
with stop signs existed me
the tulip poplar at a distance

the tepid neighbors one two
and three existed me, their
cautious haircuts and wasteful cars.
The key in my pocket existed me.

As a boy the key on a shoestring
around my neck, then my brother
would have been a teenager with muscles
like a balloon stuffed full of rocks

existed me. The dull creaking
in the staircase existed me
my grandpa saying “Daniel”
existed me, my grandma adding

“in the lion’s den!” I stood
in the lesser wattage of the hallway
my brother alive in his room
his belly distended, skin blotchy

my brother existed me my brother
entering death existed me
his eyes as fearful as
the eyes of all our ancestors.

DAN GUTSTEIN is the author of eight books and chapbooks, including, most recently, Poor Gal: The Cultural History of Little Liza Jane (University Press of Mississippi, 2023). He was vocalist for the hard-charging and mildly-charting 2022 post-punk album States of America.